The Emperor's Virtual Clothes by Dinty W. Moore

Author:Dinty W. Moore [Moore, Dinty W.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781565128613
Publisher: Algonquin Books
Published: 1995-01-01T06:00:00+00:00

The Basic Rules of Netiquette

1) Read the FAQ.

This is a great rule, except lots of people don’t know what it means. FAQ is short for Frequently Asked Questions, a document that most serious groups post every week or two. FAQs list not only those questions that come up frequently in the group (why does my cat sleep with the toilet brush?), but also the answers. This is to avoid repetition. Repetition is a particular problem on Usenet because so many new people discover it every day, and they all have the same queries. Otherwise, to flog the superhighway metaphor, it would be like trying to drive home from work while thousands of pimply sixteen-year-old boys attempt to pull you over and ask, “What’s the turn signal do, dude?” If you have a question, the correct etiquette is to see if it is in the FAQ before posting the question and wasting everyone’s time and electricity. There is also an all-encompassing FAQ called Frequently Asked Questions about Usenet that can be found in news.announce.newusers.

2) Lurk Before You Post.

Mother always taught me to look both ways before crossing the street. And to never eat food off the floor. In case you are reading, Mom, I will say here that I have never wavered. Similarly, the self-appointed Emily Post Etiquette Cops on Usenet repeatedly insist that a new user should lurk (read a newsgroup, but not say anything) for two entire weeks before even considering the idea of posting a question or an answer. I have never followed this rule, by the way. It doesn’t suit my nature.

3) Don’t Use All Caps.

It is considered a very bad idea to use all capital letters in your Usenet postings or in E-mail, because certain people have decided it is JUST LIKE SHOUTING. To be honest, I have no idea WHY it is just like shouting, since it makes no noise, but people treat it that way. Sometimes, it seems to me, you just want some EMPHASIS. But seriously, if you DO IT, you might get FLAMED!!

4) Don’t Say Anything Stupid.

But that is relative, right? And if intelligence were a prerequisite for admission to the Internet, why would there be a Usenet group called alt.bitch.pork?

And finally:

5) Write Briefly, Be Clear.

A good rule speaks for itself.

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